Thursday, October 23, 2014

We adopted a beaver...

Soooo, here's the thing. Either we adopted a dog-like beaver last December or we have the world's most spiteful pet. The answer is still really a toss up at this point. Because bathing the dog up to this point has been a violent clash between human and demon canine, we have contracted that business out to one of those dog washing units run out of a supersized van. Because we haven't been able to get an appointment with the people, she has not had a bath recently and smells a bit funky. She also has a bad habit of chewing up her beds. So when I purchased a new bed, I decided that she could not have the new bed until she got the funk washed off. After the bed got obliterated in a morning chew session, I threw it away and went upstairs to do some straightening and sewing. I heard her crying a few times, but then she stopped and, I assumed, took a nap. Big mistake. Huge. This is what she was doing instead:

She was chewing up the recently installed and newly stained trim...some of the last pieces to the remodel. If I hadn't just been paralyzed by shock, I probably would have thrown up right there. I decided it was best for all involved, especially the dog, to go ahead and tell the hub what she had done so he would have time to cool off. I also decided that it was a good idea to bite the bullet and bathe her before he got home. If she was clean and cute and contrite, maybe he wouldn't kill her. The two youngers and I took her out in the yard for a cold, humiliating bath for all to see. For a while she flopped around like a crocodile in a death roll and then she just surrendered to the oatmeal based shampoo scrubbing that she was receiving. She enjoyed the vigorous drying and a healthy piece of Pupperoni. She is still in the doghouse with her dad, but I think she has lived to see another day. She will be on probation for a good while. I still am on the fence about whether the "Lab mix" title on her papers should read "Lab-Beaver Mix". We'll see...
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