Monday, August 27, 2012

The last time....

Today was my boy's last day before Kindergarten begins for the year for real. I have no doubt in my mind that he is absolutely ready to go to school. No doubt at all. I am having a terrible time with the whole situation. I thought my first child's journey into the big K would be the hardest. Then I thought the second would be my hardest. But everyone told me that the last would be the easiest. That I would be ready for my freedom again. I need to stop listening to people. This has been gut wrenching. He has been my right hand man for five years now. My traveling companion, shopping helper, movie cuddler and general all around mood lifter. I know he isn't going off to war, but I mourn the passing of his toddlerhood, his preschoolness. He has lost the baby fat, grown tall and broadened significantly in the shoulders. He's not a baby any more and I have to face it, whether I want to or not. When he requested a trip to the zoo today, I could not say no. This day of lasts included little indulgences that don't happen every day: frozen zoo lemonade, a lunchable, three episodes of The Avengers. This day of lasts that leads into a new realm of firsts. While my heart aches to have him little again, it leaps at the thought of what a fine young man he has become. I am in awe of the creation God allowed me to have a little part in making and I am blessed by his fine spirit every day.

So tomorrow, if you see me with a tear stained face, know I'm not losing it. Just a mom not wanting to face the fact that time moves forward no matter how much I try to deny it. I will remember this time and remember this last day that just the two of us shared...before he had to go and get all grown up.



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