And when I die...and when I'm gone...

Today is one of those days that has made me think deeply about life and death and how so many things are related and how much more fragile life is than we think. And, no, it was not because we were picking out floor and tile and fixtures and Home Depot for two and a half hours and I was on the verge of a mental break.

Since kindergarten, G has had a good buddy, M. She is pit bull spitfire of a girl, the only child of loving parents. My brother still talks about his conversation with her when he went to have lunch with G as her "bring a special person to school" person. M corrected him on how to pronounce her name, talked his ear off and entertained him for the whole meal. She an G have competed against each other in soccer for several years. Fierce competitors both, but always starting and finishing their match with a hug and a high five. M's parents have been equally supportive, cheering for G when she saves a goal or makes one. Yelling words of support to her when a goal gets in or she gets hurt. The last game they played, M's dad yelled at G to keep her chin up and said he'd buy her an ice cream for the next saved goal. Pure kindness. Monday, after lunching with his girl at school, he left not feeling well. Just hours later...he was gone. This precious man who has been so kind and involved is gone. And so very young. For various reasons, I did not find out this news until this morning. It wasn't widely publicized and, since our girls aren't in the same class this year, G's class was not informed. The hub and I have gone through the day numb, knowing we would have to discuss it with G, a kid who loved her friend's dad so. At first she was stunned...asked a lot of questions...wanted to know when she could see her friend and wondered what she could do. I had no answers other than prayers and hugs.

This evening we received emails and texts from the hub's cousin. He and his wife have struggled for years with infertiity. Who have fought with the adoption system. Two people who have yearned so for children of their own, who have wept heartbroken tears for unfiulfilled hopes and dreams. Today they sent us pictures of their two foster siblings. A brother and sister, exactly a year apart, yes sharing a birthday. The looks of absolute and pure joy on their faces gave me chills and tears. For the second time today, the husband and I sat speechless and filled with emotion...obviously different this time.

Biblical the band Blood, Sweat and Tears are not, but situations like this always make me think of them. "And when I die and when I'm gone, they'll be one child born in this world to carry on, to carry on." This precious father passed from this life to a new one in Heaven, leaving behind a grieving family. I wish I could reverse it...to take away the pain. At the same time, two children who so badly needed a stable family and parents to love and care for them, have in a sense been reborn in their new family with my husband's cousin and his wife. I wish we were closer to celebrate.

Tears of pain and tears of joy...two families in need of lots of support and prayers. Hearts too full emotion to know how exactly to separate all the feelings out.

Bless them all.


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