Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Happy Exhaust-o-Ween!

I don't know about you people, but I am a little bit tired. While I am all about the Halloween, I have a tendency to overdo or or try to overachieve on this, the ghouliest of days. School has a "Book Character" day to accomodate those who don't observe Halloween but still want to dress up for fun. G and the the boy dressed up as characters from "Caps for Sale", one of our favorite books:



G was the peddler and the boy was one of the monkeys:



They had a parade of costumes, my two favorite(besides my own)being a Sharktopus and Officer Buckle...Gloria was around there somewhere. It was a school day of book and Halloween fun. After picking up the kids, I read our lengthy to do list before we could get to church for the Trunk or Treat festivities. Lengthy. Unusual for me, I had every item planned out to the minute so we could have as much fun as possible. Good moods were abounding and everyone was pumped about their costumes. This should have been all kinds of foreshadowing or warning or whatever. For when we arrived home, I was desperately trying to clean gunk out of the car to make room for more gunk when....the kids ran out of the house gagging. Apparently the dog, hickory nuts and woods trash did not agree with her stomach. Violently. All I can say is this, if it had been red it would have rivaled a scene from a chainsaw murder or Dexter episode. There was enough space for the children to walk through. The boy was standing, frozen in the middle of it all, about to puke up his crackerful that he had just eaten in the car. I yelled at all of them to go away and start getting dressed. Between changing clothes, finding a dust mask and rubber gloves and a bucket and mop and the strongest cleaner ever and getting the dog out without getting her into it, I was evil...apropos for Halloween. I picked up and scooped and mopped with two different cleaners. I can usually take a lot, but I was gagging and cussing my way through the whole process. I threw her bed away and told the hub to buy a new one.

After deposing the place where my babies eat breakfast, I was in a terrible rush and suffering from residual gagging episodes. Barking grumpy mom orders, I told the kids to finish up costuming themselves and attempted to use hair glue and put my hair into a fauxhawk. Epic fail. No time to wash it out, due to the de-pooping, I walked around in a Bowler hat looking like a Droog from "A Clockwork Orange". Not too kid friendly. Anyhoo, we arrived at church and I took a picture of three of my favorite duck hunting rednecks:



We were thrilled to know that many people enjoy 'em some "Duck Dynasty". Notice Si's cup and the frogs on Jase. Yep, we're all about the details. The kids were even interviewed for the local afternoon news program. They were thrilled. I have my recording on my youtube channel.

After eating, Trunk or Treating and visiting the relatives, we were exhausted and frozen. The candy bags were deposited on the counter to be checked for toxins and razor blades and the kids bathed and went to bed, except for S who had to write a paper. Ah, the life of a middle schooler.

Duck Dynasty is on and I am fading fast. I feel I need sleep soon in case the dog explodes again. Living the dream, friends. Living the dream.
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