It is more about the equally depressing aftermath of grieving the death of Cosby...although the tension and grief in the house today just about equals nuclear war. It is true when it is said, "The silence is deafening." I almost opted out of staff meeting today, worrying that I would make a complete fool of myself crying like a baby. We decided to go after the children each spent time, unaware I was observing them, standing in the spot where her bed once sat...the spot where they said their goodbyes yesterday. The room felt so quiet and empty. We just couldn't take it. We went to church, I to staff meeting and the kids to play with the big girls. Distractions all around. I still managed to boo hoo in staff meeting during prayer requests, but heard several stories from others on their love of the canine companion. Afterwards I got what work I could get done done before the big girls had to leave. We then left, got a pathetic lunch and took the boy to the barber shop, stopping first at Walgreens. We walked in to find a display of dog biscuits with a yellow lab on the front and all proceeded to burst into tears. Sorry, Walgreens. We left and entered, red eyed, into Jerry's. Always deceptive, you never know how many people are really in line ahead of you. We ended up being there two hours. Sweet Jerry kept apologizing for our wait, but I was grateful. I told him the events of last night and he understood our need to be away for a while. The boy was shorn and we left to return to that place we dreaded to be. S immediately ran in habitually calling for Cosby and immediately collapsed into a heap of tears at the realization that her absence was indeed a reality and not just a bad dream. We were a joy to be with today.
We will get through this. Life will go on and the agony will be reduced to a beautiful ache that only comes from experiencing the loss of one who loved and was loved so deeply.
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