Jack the Garden Gnome is wishing you a happy December. He is going indoors for the rest of the cold months. Jack came to live with us when we moved into this house almost 8 years ago. He resides in the small round bed with the monkey grass in our back yard. My brother Mike picked him out to guard our yard and, with the exception of some rats from the neighbor's woodpile,...don't judge us. Speaking of my brother, have you ever been related to or married to or very close friends with a genius? Not just like someone you think is a genius, but like a real "genius-y genius"? Well, I'm a sibling of one and married to another. The funny thing is neither one acts like one. I don't mean that in a derogatory way, I mean they don't act like Jimmy Fallon's computer guy on SNL after answering a question, "Uh, you're WELCOME!". I hope B doesn't read this because he will not be pleased, but it is true. It was a rough evening in the homework realm, well rough for me trying to help S with her Advanced Math stuff. I have never liked math. Never. Ever. I am sure I have mentioned this before. My mom was(or always will be) a home economist and my dad is an engineering professor. I have no math skills. Before I dated Brian, I had a statistics class that was required for all social science majors. Since a large part of psychological research is based on statistics, it was kind of an important class. We had a handsome Greek professor, Zachary Stoumbos. Never will forget it. All of us hated math...that was part of our reason for choosing the major we did. We loved our professor and all did well and attended every evening study group he gave...until we found out he was married and had helped deliver his child on the side of the highway with a trucker. Wah wah waaaaaahhhh. The girls in the class were deflated...not that we thought we were going to date him, just the Indiana Jones' students swooning(without the painted eyelids). I got a good grade in the class and only because by the point we found out he was married he had actually "learned" us the information. That sneaky man. This was a story that veered way off of the path of anything we were talking about. The point is, after Statistics for the Social Sciences 3400, I never had to take anymore math classes. Just like any other skill, if you don't use it you lose it. I never had much to lose. So when the percentages came out in the homework tonight, I got through question one and a quarter. That was it and I had to utter the words that saddened me: "You'll have to wait and ask your father when he gets home. I don't understand it.". Ouch. As I sat and listened to him explain, I became more and more confused. Fifth grade math. How sad is that? This information comes to Brian like breathing is to most. Not just fifth grade math...any math. Makes me sick and proud all at the same time. Once I got to the point of being close t embarrassing my child, I left and did laundry. Seemed more my speed. And if you have ever met my brother, that's all you need. The sharp, quickness that is Mike. Finishing up his PhD. I like like a real academic gem as I bleach the socks.I pray often that my children will get their Father or Uncle's brain. It will just be so sad if they get mine....a life of laundry is ahead of them.
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