Oh my gosh, where to start...

Oh wow, people. It has been one heck of an evening. Well, afternoon and evening. After school pickup was complete, we went straight to church for G's singing group practice and the to a receiving of friends. Afterwards, I took G across the street to her guitar lesson. We then quickly headed home, shoved cereal dinner down our gullets, fancied ourselves up and headed back to church for.....church directory pictures. If I haven't mentioned it before, I will now: I HATE having my picture made. The women in my family all feel the same and I liken it to people in days of old when they thought that having your picture made took away your soul. I get that. We got in there and filled out all the paperwork. Easy enough. Then we went into the photographer's inner sanctum, dreading what came next. I'm sure she obably dreaded us as well. Three kids and two parents who looked as thrilled to be there as ones who are in the ER waiting room. Poor woman. Standing on boxes with heads tilted like creepy mannequins, we slapped on the permagrins and did our best to hold still. The boy got a case of the giggles and the ants in the pants all at once. Then he had glare on his glasses. Then the hub's stool was up too high so the lady, fully aware of his back issue, went behind him and pressed the button to immediately lower him a foot. This caused him to jerk, almost fall of the stool and cringe in agonizing pain. That took a little while to recover from, so the kids started dancing and making gang symbols at each other. Proud moment for me as I wonder if there is an airplane bottle stashed somewhere in the room. THen they decide to do a mom and dad shot. Both of these were very awkward. "Act like you like each other!". I do like the hub, however, I do not normally express my feelings for him by sitting in front of him, head tilted as though I am listening for a distant train and flashing a permagrin. The kids had their turn, which was fairly uneventful especially considering the time of night and their lack of a substantial dinner. The boy stood in the middle of his sisters with his arms crossed and it looked like some sibling fight club poster. Then, she led us into the room where they turn up the thermostat and the guilt. They start showing you pictures and pictures and more pictures, telling you not to miss out on perfect Christmas presents, asking which looks better, left or right. This process was comparable to the eye doctor trying out lenses. They all started looking the same. He was looking away, she was squinting. I was not smiling, she looked like someone had pinched her rear end. We were trying not to openly mock some of the pictures, but.... One of the mom/dad poses required me to stand behind him with my hands on his shoulders, leaning forward close to his ear. When we saw the image of that on the screen, the family exploded in laughter. I looked like I was Frankenstein in this:



We couldn't breathe. I tried so hard to stop. B got himself together the fastest, made the decision, paid the bill and we got out of there. We are awful people.
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