My oldest is sleeping over at a friend's house tonight, so we felt like an ice cream treat was in order for the two left behind. While we usually go to the local and trendy frozen yogurt place, true ice cream felt appropriate in the sweltering heat. The kids got cotton candy ice cream in a cup, the hub got a milkshake and I got a scoop in a cone. Not really important to the story, but I just thought it might add interest. And yes, mine contained peanut butter. We received our treats and found seats so we could eat and people watch. For a super hot day, there weren't that many people there. But then "the couple" showed up. Quality not quantity, my friends. A couple showed up and, frankly, they did not look like they went together. We all have seen couples before that don't match up...that's not a bad thing, just a fact. The man, dressed in cargo shorts and a golf shirt, looked like he was a salesman for a window and siding company, taking clients out to eat at TGI Fridays and driving a Jeep Wrangler. His wife/girlfriend, whatever she was, had SHORT jean shorts and a tight tank top. A small aside, this was a trip where I truly felt out of olace as the most dressed adult female at the shop. Everyone else was fairly scantily clad. Not sure of what kind of action they thought they would find at an ice cream shop, but apparently I missed a memo. Her hair was very yellow and her skin was an exquisite likeness to a well used and close to retirement horse saddle, darkened and weathered from many rides...and not that's not "what she said.". From the side she appeared to have undergone some enhancements and from the front, she looked crazy. I know this all sounds mean and I don't mean it. It was just bizarre. She got a huge cone full of some very green ice cream and attacked it. That cone had to be trembling in fear. Never seen anything like it. I turned to see if my spouse or children were watching and they were. I did the "Don't stare" look at them and they averted their eyes. Her man was busy clicking pictures of the cone and sending it to everybody in his address book. His frozen treat was soon ready: a banana split in a bowl bigger than his woman's head. She got up, careful not to disturb his texting, picked up his split and set it in her lap. Switching the cone to her non dominant hand, she took the spoon and took several mouthfuls of it until he was ready to eat. Going back to her cone, she ate it and used her mouth in the same manner as a dog who had just been given a big spoonful of peanut butter: mouth opening wide, tongue flapping, a little bit of a distressed look on her face. And all the while, she could not stop moving. Legs bopping up and down, fingers tapping, neck and head moving all over. If not for the absence of rotted teeth and facial sores, I would bet she was on meth. Still not sure. When we got in the car, G asked, "Why did that lady eat her food like she was chewing gum?". You see? I am not the only one who sees this stuff.
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