I never really know how much I neglect my eyes until I really need them to be at their best. I should know by now that staring at a computer screen or an iPad for prolonged periods soon makes everything else blurry. I honestly do not know how the hub stares at computer screens all day. I would be blind for sure. This morning, before I even started staring at screen, my eyes got a workout. Our beloved dog, Cosby who is almost 14, was in quite a state when we found her this morning. She has suffered, almost labs do, from hip and knee arthritis issues. At her advanced age, we know in our minds that every day is a gift. But in our hearts, we still remember that little puppy with the sweet skunky breath that we picked out of the ten squirming little bodies tucked up under their mother. So when we found her struggling to stand up and walk without falling, we were heartbroken. The children, understandably, we're devastated to their their dog faltering and showing her age. Tears began flowing from S first. Once she came into the family, Cosby treated her as her little charge and immediately went from being my dog to be S's dog. The bond is so strong. Grace was next, with Fin not far behind. I called my friend Amy to ask what we should do. Of course, I was crying my eyes out which is never a good thing to do on a Sunday morning at 9:20. B and the kids had a prayer over her and then started sobbing even more. There wasn't a dry eye in the house...except for Cos who looked at us like we were all crazy. Amy brought over a sling like device to allow us to help support Cosby when she walked. With the hard wood floors, she hits them like Bambi on the ice. Cute for Bambi, alarming for your pet. As the has gone on, she seems to have rallied a bit. Her appetite never left which is a plus, so we just have to hope she will work her legs out. I just pray we will know when it is her time...or our time to let go. I don't want my selfishness to lead to her suffering.
So, cried out eyes make for tired eyes on a Sunday. Cosby is slumbering away and the kids are readying for bed. My Super Bowl is tonight and I cannot wait to watch some Oscars. I will leave you with this picture. If it doesn't bring a little catch to your throat, then you have no soul....okay that might be a little harsh.
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My earliest memory was when we got our family dog. I was 3 1/2 at the time. It is a vivid, clear memory, I can pull it up now better than my senior prom. Just as vivid, but infinitely more painful, is the day I arrived home for a long weekend in Oct. 1989. My Mom met me in the driveway, gave me a tight hug, & whispered in my ear that Frisky was gone. I'm still a bit mad they hid the news from me, not wanting to distract me from my classes. I had known when I left for Tech in Aug., he wasn't well. Frisky had an obvious brain tumor, he was blind, & his back legs weren't working well. But he ate well, moved as quickly as he could, & still tried to chase squirrels.
ReplyDeleteI know I was in denial. I wasn't prepared for losing my best childhood friend, my closest confidant, my partner in crime(he took the blame for a broken lamp for me). I'm not sure you can truly get properly prepared.
I would like to offer one bit of advice, don't "shield" your kids from what is happening. Death is a part of life, loss a part of living. Being involved doesn't give you nightmares and anxieties. Having things happen behind closed doors, out of sight, those leave you wondering, let's your imagination run away with you.
I will pray for you, your family, & your beloved companion as you go step by step through this difficult time.