Pencils will never be the same...

I've determined that everybody is out to make a buck these days. Every tragedy, holiday, historical event and sporting phenomenon is memorialized in the form of crap...and my kids want to buy every ounce of it. The bobble head of Sigmund Freud, even though they have no idea who he is(one of my many parental failures as a psychology major), the foam finger depicting the Malcolm X fist in the air for the palest kids on Earth, the snow globe depicting the hurricane of the moment are all ready to be purchased. And for a horrific price. Sometimes the price is worth it, especially for the extra unique gag gift. The Ron and Nancy Reagan paper doll book that my very conservative father gave my liberal great aunt was an ultra expensive gag gift purchased at Spencer gifts, I think. Well played, Dad. Well played. She got him back somehow...a jar of apple butter with a banana in it(family joke). One of my personal favorites, forgive me my Catholic family and friends, is the boxing nun puppet. My uncle bought one at a yard sale and gave it to me. That poor puppet boxed until her gloves and arms fell off. Best $0.50 he ever spent. My boss showed me the ultimate make a buck on odd things. I have found that, as a Christian, it is sometimes hard to know the line between funny, tacky and out in out sacrilege. I tend to keep things to myself and find that if I get that feeling in my gut, I just need to not participate. My boss was given some items by a church member trying to be helpful. It's the thought that counts, I know,but we were unsure as to what to do with these items. One is bizarre enough I can't include it because it creeps me out. The other one is just almost beyond words.



Um, yeah. How would I feel if I got the hankering to erase a mistake and knocked His head off? Is it there to serve as a reminder while we write to be mindful of our words? Not sure. This, believe it or not, was not the weirdest part of the gift. The packaging on the back puzzled us both:



Chopsticks? Uh, I mean, chopsticks? Nothing screams "General Tso's Chicken" like these. I think the price tag read $4.95. Someone in the Oriental Trading Co for church children's programs is making a killing. There are no words, really.

I love a good novelty toy gag gift trinket of no value other than to empty my wallet kind of thing. My miniature Beethoven head that I carried around in my pocket was a favorite worry object for years...until I wore his already deafened ears off with my thumb. Sorry, Ludwig. The Jesus pencil toppers have me on the fence. Reminder object? I can get with that, maybe. An object to joke about? Not so into that. I'll save that for my friend's "Famous Psychologist Action Figures". I can joke about them and then Skinner, Maslow and Freud can tell me why I feel the need to do it. It's a win-win.


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