I said some things....

Today was one of those days that I found myself saying things, some of them a bit colorful, that I never thought I would ever say. Not terribly proud of some of them, but I am human. Some of these were said by text, so it is out there for public consumption.

1. "For the love of everything holy on this Earth, take your paws off the lampshade!!!!" I think that most people can probably guess what that one is about. The sweet chocolate puppy with the golden eyes has become an accomplished climber...to the point that I have found her with paws up on surfaces higher than the top of my head. This morning I came in to find her licking the lampshade of a lamp on the top shelf of the baker's rack. The look of "What?" was plastered on her face. Enough said.

2. "Clean yourself up so people won't think you were trapped for a week in a Sochi hotel bathroom!!" That was kind of lost on a 6 year old. So I just found a package of baby wipes and asked him to wash the ice cream, peanut butter and unidentified school lunch off his face. Then we watched some hockey.

3. "I want to rip that woman's arm off and beat her with it." Notice the lack of exclamation points. I texted that with a somewhat icy calm of a person tipped over their edge with nothing to lose. I had been doing some clerical work to help a friend out. Other people were also assisting us, but one in particular had a correction for everything I said. "My parents decided my middle name was going to be a combination of two relatives' names...". Her response, "Actually to restate what you said more correctly..." or "To state what you said in a more intelligent way..." or "I have to correct you on what you said about your dog being a lab mix...it would instead be referred to as a 'Mixed Breed Dog' including lab." Needless to say, I started to develop a facial twitch, sweat profusely and even began to foam at the mouth so as not to speak out and be sent home. I think my friend knew she'd better diffuse the situation and shut that girl up or things would be a-gettin' all WCW up in there.

Please forgive my less than kind reactions to day to day life. I need to get a grip....and a muzzle.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad