Hot, painful lesson

So our brown little furry nippy bundle of canine puppy joy has decided she likes wood. She likes the babygate that keeps her in the breakfast room. She likes our chairs and stools. She likes the table legs. She loves newspaper and cookbooks and her dogbowl and her sister's leg. Our wonderful dog trainer, Julie, told us to make a concoction of vinegar and the hottest things we could find and paint it on the objects of abuse. My first concoction consisted of red pepper flakes, vinegar, dried jalapenos and cayennes, Texas Pete hot sauce and Tabasco. I let it steep for 24hrs and then put it on the baby gate. The d$#@ dog couldn't lick it off fast enough. Then she barked at the container with the mixture for the the next 5 minutes. Sigh. So tonight I got a bottle and filled it with vinegar and 6 fresh habanero peppers chopped plus their seeds. I washed my hands, put the cutting board in the dishwasher to make sure it was super clean and left the pepper to saturate that vinegar. Soak, baby, soak.

Fast forward to shower time. As i may have stated here before, I tend to boil myself in the shower or tub. It is horrible for skin, I know, but I love it. During this time, I sneezed in such a violent way that I put my hands up to my face and checked to see if my nose was bleeding. Apparently I had not done as good a job washing my hands as I thought and, after I scratched my nose and put my hands back down to get shampoo, I felt a certain heat starting to spread...quickly. Within about 30 to 45 seconds, the area ranging from the top of my lip to the top of the inside of my nose(thanks to the nice steamy vapors carrying the pepper up) was burning with the heat of 575 suns. My hair, fully involved with Aussie Volume shampoo, was dripping into my eyes and I was blindly searching for the soap to scrub the habanero off of my hands and out from under my fingernails. No matter. The damage had been done.

All I have to say is that this concoction better save my furniture from further chewing....because I think it irreversibly damaged my nasal cavity. All for the love of the blasted dog.


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