Sunday, December 7, 2014

Will I ever learn?

It has been quite a busy day, as most Sundays are. Work this morning, a luncheon this afternoon and then shopping for craft supplies with G for her 4H project. By the time dinner rolled around, I had just about hit my limit of patience and stamina. My resistance was will was weak...I just wanted some food and rest. So I agreed, against my better judgement, to go to Pizza Inn. Now for my precious three readers who have been with me from the beginning, they know that when my family goes to the Inn, strange things ensue. Things started out innocently enough. We got some food and started to eat. The booth that was diagonally set from our table was quite lively. It was stuffed full with nine people plus a baby in a carrier in a chair at the end. The children were hopped up on coke and were getting quite rambunctious, so the adults started using the "threat" of the upcoming holiday on the 25th as a reason for them to calm down. "Santa's watching. Calm down." We hear another scream and then a giggle. "Okay, Santa knows what you are doing. Stop it." I hear some silverware fall on the floor and a heavy sigh. "Okay, kids. Do you want Frosty Willard to go away? I'll make him go away." "NOT FROSTY WILLARD!!! NOOOOO!". As I was trying to figure out who in the world that was, they answered it for me: their Elf on a Shelf. Is that the greatest Elf name or what? This news got their attention and a somewht calm was returned, so much so that the baby was nodding off which was not what the parents wanted. Someone stuck a piece of pizza crust in the baby's mouth saying, "You have to eat so you won't go to sleep." Well karma suck when you decide to shove dough in a sleeping baby's mouth. He knocked over a full glass of coke....unfortunately for baby, the bulk went right into the carrier like a little sugary pool of further torture for the poor little thing. After three employees mopped and sopped for a good ten minutes, the family reset their base of pizza operations in their stuffed booth. Talk went to that of Elf of the Shelf antics involving baby powder and chocolate. Once chocolate was mentioned, another conversation started. Apparently the alpha female of the group had recently made a long awaited and much anticipated trip to the Golden Corral for a chance to partake of their much lauded fountain of chocolate. One of children under Frosty Willard's watch decided to stick their whole hand in the fountain not unlike Augustus Gloop in Wonka's chocolate river. Mayhem ensued and Def Con 5 chocolate fountain contamination emergency management began. The fountain had to be shut down, emptied of all contaminated chocolate, sanitized and refilled. This process took a total of two hours to complete. How did they know this? Because they stayed the whole two hours waiting. "That's the only reason I come in there...I had to have me some of that fountain." The hub said, "I'm paying, let's go." Never a dull moment. Just keep that in mind the next time you see one of those fountains....

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