Come thou fountains at World's Fair Park...

Today our new minister preached her first sermon as our new associate. I thought she did a great job...more guts than I have, that's for sure. She and I went to the same church growing up and I've known her parents for a while. Contrary to popular rumors, I did not change her diapers when she was a baby. Her parents were some of my youth middle school counselors and were wonderful. After church/work was over, I went home and prepared the children for the last fun with cousins activity. It was a warm enough day that we put them all in their swim suits, yet again, and took them to the fountains at World's Fair Park. Just as with the local high school football game or state fair, you see all kinds of people from all walks of life. The cousins had lots of fun and spent time lamenting the fact that they live so far apart. They spent time people watching and trying to figure out people in bathing suits that should never be seen in public, understanding the confusing homemade tattoo found here and there and attempting to figure out why grown humans would choose public hyper chlorinated fountains to commit PDA. After wearing themselves out a good 87%, they stopped to drink and snack to refuel before the playground. Quite honestly, I'm not sure what the boy was sipping:



Kids. They start the hard stuff way too soon.

We said our goodbyes, stopped to pick up a jug o milk and went home to wash the chlorine out and eat leftovers. I then went to check on the garden's progress and ran into the very rare Tennessee Hooded Dollar Tree Cobra...deadly:



Luckily it likes our family and leaves us alone. Now if it would just pollinate our squash. Monday is quickly apporaching and the sun is setting on this beautiful day. Enjoy the rest of your evening...I forsee an early bedtime.
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Too tired to start over

Sooooo, my blog app just totally ate 3/4 done blog post for the evening. I am annoyed and so very tired, so I am not going to attempt recreate it. We had a normal Saturday, complete with a trip to look at campers:



That one was definitely not going to fit us all. The kids were not amused. Next we went to Mayo's to find out how to battle the blight on our tomatoes. I know everyone reading is so riveted at this point. I mowed the lawn and cried through half of it when I kept finding Cosby's toys in the yard. After I finished doing all that, we went swimming with cousins again. We were minus a couple who were missed terribly, but we swam and enjoyed the sunshine. The hub impressed the kids with his diving and cannonball techniques this time. Whatever it takes to keep the kids happy. I am currently flipping between unexciting movies on a dull TV night and finalizing plans for G's birthday. That's all I got, peeps. Living the dream.
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The things we do for family

The Virginia cousins are in for their traditional summer visit with their grandparents(my aunt and uncle). As is always the case, my children and my other cousin's children are summoned to the house to partake in yummy foods and various activities of fun with family. The traditional board game playing and water balloon fights took place yesterday, resulting in exhausted children and earlier bedtimes which made for happy parents. Today was swimming over at the neighbors' pool. Because I am a pretty strong swimmer, go ahead and laugh at that as you picture me in your head, but I am, I usually get in there with the kids. The other dads were working and my cousin's wife was taking care of the youngers and the new baby. My uncle is, by his own admission, not a great swimmer...so it was me. It took me a while to get in there. The water was only slightly warmer the slushy stuff in those bags they put on your ankle when you sprain it. The youngers thought it was fun to splash me, which only put their name on my list for later. Various games were playing involving the diving board and one jumping off and trying to catch others swimming across the pool. My 6 year old cousin B asked me to be the next person to be on the diving board and chase people. THe older kids laughed, thinking there was no way I could ever catch them. Oh you sweet, innocent young people. I caught two people without any problem. As I emerged from the pool, mouths were wide open with a little bit of new found respect. In a way, I felt like I in a drop the mic and walk off situation saying, "Cousin Jenny-out", with the mic being a pool noodle, but I didn't. I got back on the diving board to the cousins chanting "CannonBALL! cannonBALL!". I was not quite ready to pull that kind of excitement out of my bag of tricks, so I dove in and swam to the other end of the pool. Again their underestimations were unfortunate for them. Lastly, cousin B started the "CannonBALL! CannonBALL!" chanting again. How could I not? The kids were all pleased with the finishing splash and then we prepared to leave. Just as I said in an earlier post, I don't get in my swimsuit in front of just anybody. You do a lot for family that you might not do for others. Just don't ever doubt swimming ability due to size...or I'll have to drop the pool noodle on you too.
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Rain storms and sippy cups

At approximately 2:28am, we got a visitor in our bed. Quite honestly, I had been awake for a bit and was surprised it took that long for sweet G to come visit. Even with her trusty thunder protector and ear protection, her trusty sleep mask was no match for the rapid fire lightening. Honestly, I had been up for a good 7 minutes checking the Weather Channel on my phone to see if we needed to carry sleepy children down to the basement. When I saw tornadic activity was not near, I hunkered down with the girl and helped cover her ears while she covered her eyes. She fell asleep quickly, while I was repeatedly slashed by her sharp big toenail. Note to self: find the nail clippers.

The kids spent a Cousin Day at their great aunt and uncle's house while I worked. Don't judge me, but I still can't bear being in the house by myself. The absence of that sixth heartbeat is too lonely and quiet to bear. After getting my head trimmed up from yeti to acceptable mom, I did some work and gave myself a special treat, but only after finding an unused Visa gift card I was given at Christmas...so it cost my family nothing. Bonus. I picked up three exhausted kids, took them home to shower a couple layers of crud off their bodies and proceeded to fix dinner. I know, riveting stuff. My friend A texted me informing me it was new recipe happy hour and could she bring me a sample. I declined since coming over to this house is like stepping into the lobby at a funeral home and I don't want to put that evil on anybody. A little bit later her husband and youngest show up in the driveway with a sample and a sweet homemade card. It brightened up an otherwise gloomy day...and provided a yummy punch to the tastebuds. Her husband was kind enough to take a gander at our garden and give us some helpful ideas. Thanks, A and C!

We are now relaxing for the evening, I am checking the Weather Channel while writing. Just trying to decide whether or not to clip the kid's nails now or when she gets up tomorrow. I wouldn't mind a good heavy rain to sleep by, but I could do without the dramatic sound effects. I'll let you know how it goes....




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Doughnuts and Fireflies

I have a friend who has a food blog that I can't hardly bear to read. It makes me too hungry. Her recipes are heavily French, but she has a wide variety of delectable delights and mouth watering pictures accompanying them. Today I decided to make one of her most recent ones: doughnuts. When my mind is full or my heart heavy, I often turn to the kitchen to make something and take it to somebody for a treat. This recipe was quick to make and, most importantly, was baked in the oven. I have an unreasonable fear of hot oil and will probably never deep fry anything. Bock bock bock. I put these doughnuts in the oven and they were far enough in the baking process for the tasty smell to be wafting through the house when S's teacher arrived. As I pulled them out of the oven and dipped them in melted butter and cinnamon sugar, I looked up to find S and Mr. F looking at me with tummies rumbling. How lucky I was to have a built in taste testing crew. I couldn't taste them since I was numb from getting my new crown earlier...and almost reflexively biting the hygienist, but that's another story for another time. I got four thumbs up and a request to put that in the recipe rotation.

Tonight we stopped in at my aunt and uncle's house to drop some things off and see our Virginia cousins who are visiting this week. It did our hearts good to see the kids smile for the first time in a few days, to have deep belly laughs and to run and play with their dog and tell her what was heavy on their hearts. They caught 10's of fireflies and filled jar after jar. Their twinkling lights thrilled them and took me back to the summers of my childhood. We'd play all day, stopping only for meals and hydration. We'd catch jars of fireflies, watch them glowing while sitting next to a pungent citronella candle whilst eating a popsicle. Good times...good times.


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The Day After

No, this is not a post about the very terrifying at the time 80's movie about nuclear death and destruction starring Jason Robards:



It is more about the equally depressing aftermath of grieving the death of Cosby...although the tension and grief in the house today just about equals nuclear war. It is true when it is said, "The silence is deafening." I almost opted out of staff meeting today, worrying that I would make a complete fool of myself crying like a baby. We decided to go after the children each spent time, unaware I was observing them, standing in the spot where her bed once sat...the spot where they said their goodbyes yesterday. The room felt so quiet and empty. We just couldn't take it. We went to church, I to staff meeting and the kids to play with the big girls. Distractions all around. I still managed to boo hoo in staff meeting during prayer requests, but heard several stories from others on their love of the canine companion. Afterwards I got what work I could get done done before the big girls had to leave. We then left, got a pathetic lunch and took the boy to the barber shop, stopping first at Walgreens. We walked in to find a display of dog biscuits with a yellow lab on the front and all proceeded to burst into tears. Sorry, Walgreens. We left and entered, red eyed, into Jerry's. Always deceptive, you never know how many people are really in line ahead of you. We ended up being there two hours. Sweet Jerry kept apologizing for our wait, but I was grateful. I told him the events of last night and he understood our need to be away for a while. The boy was shorn and we left to return to that place we dreaded to be. S immediately ran in habitually calling for Cosby and immediately collapsed into a heap of tears at the realization that her absence was indeed a reality and not just a bad dream. We were a joy to be with today.

We will get through this. Life will go on and the agony will be reduced to a beautiful ache that only comes from experiencing the loss of one who loved and was loved so deeply.
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A life well played

I have dreaded having to talk about this from the moment we made the commitment 15 years ago. The hub, having never had any kind of pet other than that of the bring it home in a bag of water variety, and I decided that we wanted to take the plunge and get a puppy. After hours of over-researching, we found a breeder that we liked and got on the list to have first pic of their litter of lab pups. They were protective of the little babies, but let us come and visit at two weeks since we did not have any pets of our own to bring illnesses to them. We arrived to find them all in a blue plastic wading pool nursing. Her ear was not bigger than a quarter...cutest thing ever:



We took her home at 8 weeks of age and have had a wild ride ever since. She has eaten CD's, numerous socks, Easter candy and various other weird things. Training turned her into a master frisbee catcher and roller over-er. She mothered our children, protected us when she was concerned and sat on our feet when it thundered. As the years went on and her gait slowed a bit, we looked with dread upon the future. The furry matriarch of our family was aging and it was tough to watch. Last summer we were sure she was cashing it in and she rallied. She gave us an extra bonus year of love. What a gift!

Today she just seemed extra tired. Not the spunky senior we have been living with for so long. So when we came in from swimming, S checked on her to make sure she was okay. I went about putting groceries away, noticed she had not gotten up and started my usual routine. I got her leash to lure her off her bed, but she was not moving. As i went to pick her legs up and move her, I noticed that she was wet and had soiled her bed. I tried to use the sling to pick her up, but no luck. I looked in her eyes and saw the look of, "Enough. I'm just done." I knew we couldn't prolong this anymore. Our vet was backed up until Wednesday, so we called another hospital that has vet who attend our church. They told us to come on. Panic set in as to who would watch the kids. I couldn't drive sobbing. How was S going to deal with this? She adores that animal and calls her a best friend. Our neighbors and my sister in law came to watch the kids while my brother drove Cosby and me to the hospital to meet the hub. We got there and I carried her in, holding her and sobbing, making a spectacle of myself. They took us back and gave us a warm towel to cover her and keep her comfortable. Dr. McLeod came in and explained all the options we had before us, stroked her head and proceeded to get started. Her first injection helped her relax. She was pretty much asleep and didn't seem to bothered by the fact that I was sobbing and drooling all over her golden hair. He then came in and shaved a place on her leg and started the final injection. I placed both hands on her body, whispering my deep gratitiude for the love and protection she provided us, the companionship that would never be equalled, the spirit that could never be replaced. Her breathing slowed and finally stopped. It was excruciatingly beautiful. This precious being I held in my two palms at 2 weeks and now I was there to witness the end of her physical life and the beginning of her heavenly reward, walking around to give pleasure to all who have gone before us. It is a sweet agony I will never get over.Godspeed, my sweet Cosby. You have changed our lives forever and left your paw prints on many hearts. We are heartbroken.



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