Schedules are out and I need nerve meds

I was shaken from my slumber by the hub who said, "The schedules are out. She's on A team. The printout is on the counter." My heart sank. This was not the way I wanted to wake up. While I am sure the teachers on her team are fine, she really wanted the other one. Two of the teachers attend our church and we really enjoy them. S also has a great deal of anxiety after missing the last month and a half of school due to her "significant health episode" or whatever they call it today. I told the boy schedules were out and so, naturally, he felt the need to go wake her up and tell her. She was immediately awake and stressed, wanting to know. I told her and her face fell. WIthin an hour and a half, she found out three of her good friends were not on her team. More hand wringing and pacing. She then found out her friend B would be with her. She softened significantly. For the next 15 hours, she jumped at every ding her d@$% electronics made, coming to report, "Friend X is on B team." The hub came home, changed his clothes, sucked down some tiny dinner and fled to line the soccer fields...I almost cried. The youngers got in a kerfuffle over who was getting the extra odd box of pencils and who was going to label their school supplies. Sorry 6 year old son...you will not have control of the Sharpie in the living room. My friends and I kept checking "Parent Portal" trying to decipher what class was attached to what period. I truly believe that the "Nick Burns-Company Computer Guys" for our school system are laughing as they see how we try to figure out things for our kids. I have clenched my jaw so much all the motrin in the world could help the pain. So, to share my feelings on this day, I decided to write a limerick:

The schedules came out on the "Portal",
Which strikes fear in all us mere mortals.
Texts, emails and calls
From the cell phones and all,
Make me want to shove them up one's nose hole.

Jenny out.



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Two birthday lunch

As I sit here, my jaw is popping and my ear feels like I have the worst earache ever. This TMJ business, or whatever it is, it's excruciating. Anyhoo, life goes on. Today was an exciting day in the life of work. It was staff luncheon day. Since we had a busy summer what with getting a new pastor and another one moving on to another appointment, we didn't have our June or July staff luncheons. I know, earth shattering stuff, but people do enjoy their free birthday lunch. So we went today to celebrate June, July and August birthdays. At the restaurant, our first clue that things might be amiss was that we had one older, somewhat scatterbrained and frail, waitress for 15+ people. Before you start making images of me to burn in effigy, let me get something straight: I have the utmost respect for wait staff. I think they have a rough job that wears on their body, doesn't pay much money and is full of jerks. I know it is said that in the South before you say something negative you say, "Bless their heart". Bless her heart, but she was in over her head. Between not getting our food, constanly telling us not to confuse her and keeping us there for two and a half hours, we were all done. Not even Thnksgiving dinner takes that long. Luckily our new pastor took one for the team, or at least for me, and played with my kids the whole time. Sugar packet football is the new best game ever. I sure hope our waitress can soak her feet tonight. She was strung awfully tight.

I ask for prayers on the eve of middle school team assignments. We were supposed to find out today, but that got postponed. I just pray that S gets the team she needs and all these kids get the right teachers for their situations. It is hard, as a parent, to let your child go and grow up. The youngers will find out Thursday. I'm just nervous...as always.


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Bye bye, GI

This morning, with three kids in toe, I drove to Children's Hospital. None of us were really happy to be there, especially when we had to get up early the last week of Summer vacation. Oh well. We need to get back in the early swing of things anyway. S kind of proudly led the way for her brother and sister to see exactly where she had spent a significant portion of her Spring. We headed up to level 5 and went to see the GI doc. I had put the others on alert to use their best manners and behavior in this office. They were concerned that I had somehow tricked them into going into a surprise attack visit for them. Paranoid kids. We were in and out in a more than reasonable amount of time, with the doc telling S that this would be her last visit to his office for this particular malady. She and I both got a little choked up, I must admit. While many people aren't huge fans of his, we loved this doctor. The time he took with her to explain everything that went wrong with her body, the love he showed her and the caution he took with her. Some may say he over tested or over appointmented with her, but after seeing how deathly ill she was, I was grateful. He hugged her and told her he loved her and was so glad to see her better. And then he was gone...but not before he added one last panel of bloodwork to be taken. She again handled it better than anyone her age should have to. Afterwards, noticing her leg had started to look angry again, we ended up having to see the pediatrician this afternoon. She's taking another stab at a solution. We'll see if this one works. Her poor leg serves as a constant reminder of the whole ordeal she wants behind her. It still gets stares at the pool and questions from her friends. She wants to not stand out. Here's hoping the closing of the GI chapter is the start of that.


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Not a 24 pack to be found...

Can I get a Crayola? A Crayola, anyone? We decided, once again, to brave tax-free weekend and buy the school supplies needed for apparently, by the look of our cart, 75 children. We went to the school supply spot at Target and quickly realized that our powers of self control would truly be put to the test when we saw a fire marshall's nightmare: 75 people in the space of a modest master bedroom. We saw a large contingency from church and all made a vow not to judge each other for the angry faces and voices we might use fighting over the last pack of "Classic Color Markers" or for the venemous words used when deciding if "Jumbo glue sticks" on the supply list is the same as "Giant" on the Elmer's package. I had one woman give me a dirty look when I read the item "3 packages of sugar free gum" off one of the lists. Lady: "What kind of school requires you to bring gum?". Me: "Um, I think they use it as a reward instead of sugary gum or candy." Her: "Well honey, my incentive for being good was not to get a beating." Me: "Um, yes ma'am. But if they do that in school today, they'll get arrested. I'm just going to get the gum." Tax-free day is not the time to get in a conversation about the demise of schoolchildren and their behaviors as determined by gum. Just find me some Extra Bubblemint and the ellusive 24 pack of crayons so I can get the heck out of this death trap. We fled school supplies, picked up wet wipes and ziploc bags(extras to make teachers happy), headed to be checked out by our friend Houston(really our friend) and headed to Office Depot. Target was fresh out of the yellow and purple folders required on two lists and we had to find those blasted crayons. I would have settled for store brand or eve, gasp, Rose Art brand. I just wanted the &^%$ crayons. When we got to the OD, we found their shelves to be stripped of crayons as well. Okay, friends. That tears it. When they go on sale, I'm stockpiling up on those things. This shortage will not stand. Oh WAIT! A very helpful employee showed us to a Crayola display, placed in not so plain sight in the stationary department by the not so subtle, life sized display of One Direction. What was I thinking? Of course they were there and just enough, thank The Lord Almighty!

Next comes the fun task of labeling it all. I will take pictures of the before and after...complete with me in my new straight jacket.


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Tax-free nerve meds, too?

In our fair state, this Friday through Sunday is tax-free weekend...a time when everyone and their brother swarms to their local mall or Best Buy to buy items supposedly used to go back to school: clothes, shoes, school supplies, mondo calculators and 72 inch televisions. With the in-laws in town on a rather activity-free weekend, we were searching for things to do with them. The zoo was too much walking for them and nothing else sounded appealing, so we went shopping. To the mall. On tax free weekend. With 5,000 of our best friends. While we were successful, it came at the cost of our sanity I think. The kids dealt with it in their own way...a dollar a pop: massage chairs. I was on edge of holding it together until it was agreed that we would go to Build A Bear. That's when the scales were tipped and it took everything not to be reduced to a drooling blob of human scrunched in the fetal position near the stuffing machine. The kids are now set for school's start with shoes and clothes. But we still haven't bought school supplies. That comes tomorrow...to finish off the rest of my sanity. Tax-free Xanax? Yes, please!


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Oh the hu-vanity!!!!

It's remodel time here at the ranch, friends. We all knew it was coming. Heck, our kitchen has been half done for a few years, but the hub couldn't help that he blew out his back and had major surgery. But history seems to be repeating itself once again and a bathroom crisis is interrupting the progress on the kitchen remodel. Last week as I stood in front of the washer in the basement, there was a Chinese water torture kind of situation going on down there. The source was found in the main floor bathroom. Nice to know that the leak in the basement didn't start until the base of the cheap vanity was so saturated it could hold no more. So brown, rusty water dripped down on my head or straight onto the clean clothes. Running a fan in said bathroom, after the leak was fixed, did only good on the surface, but the fear of a lurking moldy nightmare remains. This forced us to do one of the activities that children love during the summer, almost as much as a summer reading list: we went vanity shopping at Lowes/Home Depot. We understand that once the vanity is moved in the slightest the situation goes directly from curiosity to full on biohazard yellow tile removing hell. The need to have pieces parts in place is vital. I'm sure the entirety of our city and county heard the collective whine-groan coming from the mouths of the offspring, but we needed to look and had a short time to do it. The in laws were arriving in a few hours, so time was of the essence. I have discussed at length many times before now that I have no eye for design. Going into this with frustration and having children full of frustration made this an excellent experience. I broke up a few scraps and sent them to their corners...one sitting on a chair in wallpaper, one chose to sit on a display toilet and this one:




We had a great time. One for the family scrapbook, friends.

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They wonder why I clench

I went to see my favorite dentist yesterday. My jaw has reached nuclear pain level and I could not put off seeking help any longer. I actually booked the appointment last week, but could not be seen until yesterday. I should have known that it might get serious when the hygienist/assistant brought in this:




Um, I guess I am going to get schooled on my face. Mark came in and started asking questions about my face. Where does it hurt? Can I press here and it is okay? Hold your mouth this way and let me press here...does that hurt? I think the tears pouring from my eyes gave him some ideas for sure. He made me a little device to try to reprogram my jaw into the right position. It is always impressive to lay in the chair and watch the dentist use fire to fashion a device for your mouth. Here it is:




It is tiny enough to fit in front of my front teeth, just enough to keep the top and bottom from touching. For such a little thing, it has caused some major pain. The next fix is a major piece of orthodontic mess with plastic and metal and it looks very horrifying. So I am trying to make this little piece of plastic work. The girls heard my jaw pop across the room, so I hope that means the storm before the calm. Yipes.

I am sitting and watching the conclusion of middle school soccer practice. My realization is that I have really lost the stomach for watching my child play at all. Just too anxiety producing. So I will just surf and write and pin things and ignore unless I hear the screams for "MRS. COOOOK!!!!!". Then I'll pay better attention.

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