Monday, November 17, 2014

The deal with the dozens

I am not going to lie. I was not a good role model today. Art class was on the schedule today and I was on tap to help with sock monkey construction with the fifth graders. There was an exchange between two boys about tail placement and how one dared the other to sew the tail on the front. There was a lot of snickering and bathroom jokes. Nothing out of the ordinary, but I had to help them get back on track a little so they would get all their parts sewn up in time. They were just being kids and I love it. I went to take a handful of thread pieces to the trashcan when I heard one of the girls say, "I learned these from my cousin. They are funny." I wasn't really paying attention to the conversation, just caught snippets here and there. I was reading one of the posters in the art room when the girl said, "Your momma's so fat, the only hike she's ever taken is up Mtn. Dew." I tried very hard not to laugh, but I did...longer than I should have. Anyone who has children, works with children or was a child at one time, laughter is just like fuel to the fire. She came up with more: "Your momma's so poor, she eats cereal with a fork to save on the milk! Your momma's so dumb, when she got sick she made a call to Dr. Pepper!". The monkey makers shook and were dangerously close to stabbing themselves with their needles as they listened to "the dozens" going down in the room. I gained my composure after staring at one of these like it was my focal point during labor:



Finally, they stopped shaking and were able to complete their jobs. I was exhausted when I left. It is hard to force yourself not to laugh. Thanks to YouTube I was able to get those laughs out by watching an episode of "The Dirty Dozens" from In Living Color. So funny. I know the jokes aren't kind. I know that. But the kids don't really understand they were used as a form of verbal sparring. They just like the "punny-ness" of them. I will leave you with one S found this evening: Your momma is so slow, she works from home and still can't get there on time. There you go.
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