Swimming Pool Etiquette for 2015

I love to swim as much as the next person. After my chores were done in the summertime, my brother and I would walk to our local American Legion Pool and swim for the afternoon. On rare occasions, my mom sent us with some extra cash to get some junky something at the snack bar. Sometimes I would sneak money and get something. One time, after my mother had forbidden it, I snuck and got a candy bar. A friend ratted me out when my mom came to pick me up...after I had lied and told her I hadn't eaten anything there. That was a nice summer spanking I received later when my father arrived home. And the last spanking I ever got also. Anyway, I digress. I took the kids to the pool today...they needed to be worn out. I haven't seen the lifeguard blow his whistle that much ever. All of his whistling was aimed at one particular DAD who decided to turn beast mode on half the kids in the pool. I think all of the kids were related to him in some way or another, but it didn't make any difference to the lifeguard or me(or half a dozen other parents watching). Listen, my dad played hard with us in the pool, dunking us every once in a while, giving us a good splash here and there, grabbing us and tossing us...much to our great delight. This dad, or whoever he was, grabbed the children by the ankle. He was the size of a slightly smaller Andre the Giant, so the kids were powerless against him. He would get a good hold on them and then rapid fire splash gallons of water their faces with out stopping. The kids were choking and gasping until the lifeguard blew the whistle for him to stop. He then continued his grip and pulled the child on out in the 8 foot area where he could swim and they could not and threaten to leave them there to drown. I was texting a running commentary to the hub who was home working on our tomato blight problem. Can't talk about that right now. I'm too upset to talk about my sick tomatoes. The man would return to shallow waters grabbing pool noodles from unsuspecting children and chucking them into the deep end where the kids could not get them, only to then grab another child and repeat the process. The hub asked if he needed to come down to the Y, but I cautioned him that if the gentleman touched one of mine he would pull back a stump. I told them to stay as far away from him and scream "HELP" and "STRANGER" until i could get to them if it got to that point. Upon leaving, I made sure to express my opinion about the situation which was met with a yawn and a greatly underwhelmed attitude. Dads? Don't be that guy. Have fun with your kids but don't act like a hyped up Frances from Pee Wee's Big Adventure when he's playing in his swimming pool sized bathtub like a human Godzilla...or a mom will come at you like PeeWee. Think about it.

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